"somebody stop...mehhhh..."

September 12, 2002 : 5:24 am
Now Playing: rain and clocks and other early-morning things
Porn Title of the Day:

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you went to www.jesus.com? Because I never have. In retrospect though, now that I've been there, I'm wondering why I never wondered about it.

...right. So anyway, you crawl out of bed at 5:13am after lying awake for three and a half hours with all these deep, enlightened things to write about in your online diary, but then you inadvertantly end up at jesus.com, and everything you were going to say flies right out the window.

In other news: Not to sound overly dramatic or anything (because you know i never am)...I think it may be possible that I am, in fact, dying. Yes well, maybe I'm wrong, but it was the first thought that came to mind when i looked at myself in the mirror a little while ago, so I thought i should mention it. You know how some people say, "I look like shit", but they really don't think that they look like shit...they just want you to say, "No! You look great!"? Anyway, I'm not one of those people. I just really look like shit. If I told you so, you would only nod in agreement.

Even my hair looks sick...it's starting to grow in the same colour as the pepper in my mom's salt-and-pepper-ish hair. Kindof ashy...greyish...yuck brown. Not that my mom's hair is yuck...it isn't...but you know what I mean...I'm 19 and all. I'm paler than ever..circles under my eyes, sometimes. I've lost weight. I barely ever feel like eating or sleeping. Well, actually, that's not true. I feel like sleeping ALL the time, except when I'm supposed to...like last night, for instance. Hey, look at me, I'm still up. Remember when you were like, 13, and staying up all night was like the coolest, most amazing feat ever? "Hey look at me, you guys! The whole night went by and you guys were asleep and now it's morning and I'm still awake! I rule!" I think once you reach a certain age you realize that if you let an entire night go by without sleeping, you may as well just hit yourself in the face with a boot. Repeatedly.

Here's something I was pondering earlier, whilst still in bed: If someone told you that they get up every morning at 5am, you'd be impressed, right? Well, I would be. Man, I wish I was that energetic, and all that good stuff, right? Right. BUT if someone were to tell you that they get up every morning at precisely 4:45am, you would automatically write them off as retarded (excuse me) and stop listening.

So where do we draw the line between go-getter and lunatic? Well, don't ask Eva, because she's only been up since noon......yesterday. YESTERDAY. HOW can I possibly survive another miserable, grueling day with no sleep? HOW can I prevent myself from causing undue harm to others? HOW can I manage to put one tired foot in front of the other?? STAY TUNED!

(if you missed that, it was supposed to sound like the end of a rocky & bullwinkle cartoon....except i'm too tired to come up with witty titles for next week's show.)

Speaking of witty titles, i would just like to state that my favourite person of the hour is Colin Bent! This award is based on strength of character, excellent use of language, and because he made me laugh at around 5:16am...a feat only topped by jesus.com, which made me laugh at roughly 5:14am.....or whatever the hell time I said I got up.

Squawk!!

I'm going back to bed now.

PS: by the way, i forgot to mention that i have a boyfriend sleeping in my basement at this moment. If you know me, then you know that this isn't really a strange occurance, but in a large part of my brain it IS actually strange...and bothersome...and definitely worth mentioning in an online diary such as this. I would also like to be sleeping in my basement...."sleeping" AND "basement" both being key words here.

PPS: After reading other peoples's entries...yesterday was the 11th of September, wasn't it? Well I'll be damned. Wouldn't you know I spent the day in the woods and in bed? (in that order...i know, what a weirdo) Ha! Sorry CNN. Better luck next year.

sidenote: i think it'll be weird not to be the target market anymore. --->also if i look back on this sidenote in 24 hrs and it makes no sense, i'm deleting it.--->what the fuck is a sidenote?

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